Job & Career Development

Summary

• Shy people can and do succeed in the workplace.
• Accept yourself.
• Build networks.
• Learn new ways to share your strengths.

Can a shy person excel—or even survive—in today’s competitive workplace? The answer is a resounding “yes,” according to career counselors, psychologists and executive coaches.

Know yourself

• Are you quiet at work?
• Do you hesitate to speak up at meetings?
• When you think you’ve done a good job on a project, do you keep that information to yourself?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, you may be more introverted than extroverted, at home and at work.

Toss out stereotypes

Not everyone understands shy people, especially in the workplace. Because they don’t toot their own horns, co-workers might think quiet people are unproductive, slow, or even disinterested in what they do. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth! 

Shy people work just as hard as everyone else, and sometimes harder. They might not speak up at meetings, but that’s because they want to think before they speak.

“Introverts at work are often quite articulate and thoughtful public speakers when given the correct situation and preparation,” says Steve Langerud, director of career development for DePauw University. “We are socialized to see leadership and success as extroverted, aggressive, and male when, in fact, most of us are not all three and we succeed just fine.”

Acknowledge and honor who you are

No one is totally extroverted or introverted, but it’s important to recognize and acknowledge where you feel most comfortable on the spectrum between the opposite poles of social behavior. If you’re shy, you tend to hold back and stay out of the spotlight, something you most likely learned as a child. Even if you want to, you don’t feel comfortable contributing to a group discussion.  

“If we look at what we learned in our original organization—the family—and see how we have brought that behavior to our current organization—the workplace—we can begin to make the internal adjustments that will give us what we want,” explains Sylvia Lafair, author of Don’t Bring It to Work. 

You may think you can be shy at home but outgoing at work, but psychologist Lafair says that is not the case. You can learn new behaviors to help overcome some stress you’re having at work or in social situations. But, even if you learn new behaviors, you will remain a shy person. Your basic personality will not change, even if you experience less stress than you once did in similar situations.    

“Honor who you are because you won’t change,” advises career consultant Linda D. Henman, PhD. “Be heartened by the awareness that many senior leaders are introverts. They have learned to adjust their behavior to meet the demands of their jobs, but because they have the essentials of leadership—integrity, drive, and brains—they have made it.”

Emphasize your strengths

In general, introverted people are:

• Thoughtful and inclusive in forming work teams
• More focused on process than outcomes
• Able to contribute as much to a workplace as anyone else
• Often strong supervisors
• Calm under pressure
• Reflective and analytical
• Dependable
• Able to “walk the talk”
• Likely to say what they mean and mean what they say
• Consistent 

Expand your network

Job coaches offer the following networking tips for shy people:

1. Establish connections with colleagues or potential employers through online websites, such as LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter. Internet networking offers you a way to introduce your strengths and abilities to others before an interview or meeting. Through these sites, you can build common ground before you meet someone in person.
2. Look for informal ways to network within your workplace. Volunteer for fundraisers, sports teams, or social programs.
3. Join Toastmasters International to gain practice in public speaking, suggests Robin Ryan, author of Soaring on Your Strengths. Put your skills to work in civic or service organizations before you bring them to work.
4. Work on your written presentation skills. Get training, if you need it, in graphics, photography, or PowerPoint.

Try something new

Don’t hide your personality—turn it into a strength! Milan P. Yager, president of National Association of Professional Employer Organizations, says shy people should focus on their abilities when talking about their work. Say something like, “I’m glad I was able to contribute my research (or strategic thinking, organizational skills or whatever) to Project X.”

Plan what you will say in a meeting or any important conversation, suggests David Levin, author of Don’t Just Talk, Be Heard! When you speak at meetings, use positive, non-personal language. Make sure you are connecting emotionally to colleagues when you speak to them. Use stories whenever you can. Keep the focus off yourself, but on the work at hand.

Watch your body language. Don’t cross your legs or arms, and don’t hide your mouth while you speak, warns Maryann Karinch, author of 16 books about human behavior.

Have more meaningful conversations (in the form of feedback to direct reports, for example) and fewer superficial ones (such as gab sessions at the water cooler).

Although we tend to act one way, we also have power within us to take that pattern and move it to a healthy, positive, opposite one, Lafair says. She teaches a technique called OUT, an acronym for observe, understand, and transform. Here are her tips for changing behavior, but not personality:

• Observe yourself in different settings throughout the day, for several weeks. Take note of times when you feel shut down, intimidated, or uncomfortable for not speaking up. You’ll begin to see where your buttons get pushed.
• Understand. Look back at how you responded in uncomfortable situations when you were a child. When did you hold back your feelings? When was it unsafe to speak up? What made a message dangerous?
• Transform. Take a risk and do something different. If you are in a meeting, speak first, no matter how hard that may be. If your tendency is to please people, practice saying the word “no” out loud. If you always say “yes,” try to say what you really think the next time you are asked.

Knowledge is power. Lafair believes that practicing these techniques will help you change behavior slowly and steadily. Even subtle change can help you cope better in stressful situations.

Whatever you do, be proud of what you are and what you contribute to the team. Despite what you may have heard, introverted people are valued in the workplace. As one job coach said, “You can always count on an introvert!”

Resource

Toastmasters International
P.O. Box 9052
Mission Viejo, CA 92690-0952
(949) 858-8255
www.toastmasters.org

By Paula Hartman Cohen

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Linda Henman, PhD, executive coach and author of The Magnetic Boss; Sylvia Lafair, PhD, family counselor and author of Donﾒt Bring It to Work, White Haven, Pa.; Steve Langerud, director of career development, DePauw University, Greencastle, Ind.; David Levin, author of Donﾒt Just Talk, Be Heard! Minneapolis, Minn.; Maryann Karinch, athlete, executive coach and author of Business Lessons from the Edge, Estes Park, Colo.; Robin Ryan, career counselor, author of Over 40 & Youﾒre Hired and Soaring on Your Strengths, Newcastle, Wash.; Milan P. Yager, president, National Association of Professional Employer Organizations, Alexandria, Va.

Summary

• Review your company policy.
• Talk to your supervisor and your instructors.
• Establish a rhythm between your job and school.
• Take care of yourself.

Want to jump-start a stationary career? Dreaming about a job in a different area of the company? Continuing education may help you achieve your professional goals. If you’re pursuing your degree while working full time, trying to combine your hectic student schedule with a busy work life can be challenging. But don’t give up. You can learn to manage the pressure, achieve your long-term career goals and even enjoy the process. Try these strategies for juggling a full-time job and school.

Review your company policy

Ask your company’s human resource department whether any support is available for full-time employees in school. Some corporations subsidize the cost of classes, grant extra leave time, or even provide scholarships if academic interests correspond with business goals.

Talk to your supervisor

If your supervisor knows you’re back in school, they probably will give you more flexibility at the office. Tell them about your long-term goals and explain how this class or degree will help you achieve them. Provide an updated schedule each term so that their aware of your academic obligations.

Talk to your instructors

Do your teachers know you’re balancing school and a full-time job? Most college professors, for example, schedule daily “office hours” to meet with students, answer questions and direct research. But if you’re working, you might not be able to meet during those times. Arrange to talk with your instructor over the phone or schedule a special appointment.

Find a rhythm

If your workload is lighter during the spring, schedule more classes that term. If possible, take fewer courses during the busiest times at the office. Establish a rhythm between your job and school so the two schedules balance out.

Take care of yourself

If you’re spending long days at the office and evenings or weekends in school, reserve some special time just for you. Take a bath, go running or try a new restaurant. You need to stay physically and mentally fit to maintain your busy schedule.

Combining school with work is rewarding, stimulating and often exhausting. Look for support from your colleagues and make sure to thank them for it. With some planning and determination, you can get the education you need and the career you deserve.

By Lauren Greenwood

©2000-2021 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Take a shower or bath every day.
• Brush your teeth at least once a day.
• Keep your fingernails clean and trimmed.

You want to look your best to make the best impression on the job. The way you look can have an affect on your job success. The way other people see you influences the way they treat you, so it’s important to pay attention to how you look. It also has an affect on the way you feel about yourself. The easiest way to do this is to develop good hygiene habits. Good grooming does not cost a lot of money. When you look your best, you show others you care about yourself.

• You need to take a shower or bath every day. It shows you have respect for others and respect for yourself. Use some type of deodorant each day. It controls the body odor that comes from sweating.
• Brush your teeth at least once a day and if possible, after each meal. When you don’t brush your teeth, you get bad breath and people don’t want to be around you. Mouthwash or gum can also keep away bad breath.
• Shaving is important. Each job has different rules about facial hair. If you work at a job that lets its employees wear a beard or moustache, make sure you keep it trimmed.
• Wash your hair at least once every three days. Hair that hasn’t been washed smells bad and looks unsightly. Comb your hair several times each day to keep it neat looking. Get a good haircut that’s easy to take care of. Extreme hairstyles and hair colors are inappropriate for most jobs. If you have long hair, keep it in a ponytail or pinned up.
• Keep your fingernails clean and trimmed. If you wear long nails, keep them a reasonable length. Extremely long nails can be a safety hazard and can keep you from doing your best work. For women, a little makeup is appropriate. Use natural colors and don’t apply it too heavily. If you’re unsure about your makeup routine, ask a friend whose opinion you trust.

By Haline Grublak, C.P.H.Q., Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

Good work habits:

• Lead a healthy lifestyle.
• Avoid drinking and drugging.
• Form healthy work relationships.

It’s important to keep good work habits. Being on time and showing up for work when scheduled are important to your job success. This is because a company can’t run without trustworthy workers. A supervisor has to count on its workers coming to work on time each day. When a worker is late or absent, it causes problems for the company and for other employees.

When a worker is absent from his job, the company loses money. The employees who are at work can’t do as much. The quality of their work will suffer. When other workers are rushed, they can’t give customers the service they deserve. These things cost the company money.

Being absent causes problems for co-workers and supervisors. Supervisors have to rearrange schedules and your co-workers have to fill in to do your job. There may be times when you have a good excuse to be late or absent. Being sick is an acceptable excuse. Having a hangover or sleeping too late is not. If you are serious about doing a good job, and being at work on time, there are steps you can take.

Lead a healthy lifestyle

Lead a healthy lifestyle by getting enough sleep and eating right. It’s hard to do a good job when you don’t get enough sleep. Most people need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night. It’s good to get into a routine where you go to bed at the same time each night. Eating right is important, too. When you have good eating habits, you are less likely to get sick and miss work.

Avoid alcohol and drugs

Avoid drinking and drugging. Drinking too much can cause a hangover, which will affect your job performance. Drinking also causes health problems that can cause you to miss work. Drinking on the job or right before going to work can get you fired. Misusing drugs causes the same kinds of problems. Plus which, street drugs are illegal. Drugs can also cause hangovers and affect your work performance. They also affect your health, which makes it harder to do a good job. At many jobs, using illegal drugs, even when you are off work, will get you fired.

Plan ahead for time off

If you need to take time off, plan ahead with your supervisor. Taking time off for doctors’ appointments should be planned a couple of weeks ahead of time. Longer absences such as vacations should be planned at least a month in advance.

Even when you plan ahead, there will be times when you have to miss work. Your supervisor will usually understand if you miss work only once in a while. Most companies have limits on the number of absences an employee can have. When an employee goes over those limits, she can get a disciplinary action.

If you can’t make it to work, despite your best efforts, call your supervisor and let him know why you are missing work, and when you plan to return to work. It’s best not to lie. Let your supervisor know you will be willing to make up the work you missed while absent. By following these tips, your supervisor will know you are serious about doing a good job.

Keep up good friendships

Your relationships can affect your job success. Pay attention to the company you keep. If your friends don’t work and party until late at night, you might be tempted to join them, even though you have to work the next day. Find positive friends who respect you and respect your right to want to do a good job.

Your relationships at work can also affect your job success. It’s good to have friends at work, but you should avoid romances with co-workers. And don’t let your friendships with co-workers get in the way of your job.

By Haline Grublak, C.P.H.Q., Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

General dressing guidelines for work:

• Wear the right clothes for the job.
• Find out if there is a dress code.
• Be safety conscious.

To make the best impression, wear the right clothes. Like hygiene, what we wear can affect the way others treat us. One team of experts found that clothes are just as important to a person’s job success as their work performance. Here are some general tips:

• Wear the right clothes for the job. When you first get hired, ask if there are any special clothes you will need such as a uniform or steel-toed boots. Find out if the dress code is relaxed or if employees must wear professional clothing. Avoid wearing very tight or revealing clothes. At most jobs, they are unprofessional and can give customers and co-workers the wrong impression.
• Make sure your clothes are neat, clean, and wrinkle-free. Mend tears and never wear clothes that are stained. If you don’t like to iron, take your clothes out of the dryer as soon as they are dry and fold them. Also, avoid fabrics such as cotton and linen, which usually need to be ironed.
• Shop at thrift stores if you don’t have a lot of money to spend on clothing. You will probably be able to find the right kind of work clothes at stores like Salvation Army or Goodwill Industries. Even someone on a limited income can afford them.
• Find out if there is a dress code. Watch your co-workers to see how they dress. If you are unsure about the dress code, ask your supervisor.
• Be safety conscious. If you will be working around machinery, don’t wear loose-fitting clothing. Keep your hair pinned up because long hair can get caught in machinery. Trim long nails and keep jewelry to a minimum.
• Be comfortable. It’s hard to concentrate on learning a new job if your shoes or slacks are uncomfortable. Try your clothes on the night before so a pair of tight-fitting shoes or pants won’t surprise you on your way to work.

By Haline Grublak, CPHQ, Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Carry yourself with confidence.
• Gain more knowledge of your field.
• Find a mentor or role model.

Lack of confidence can spawn a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you believe you’re going to fail, you will fail. Success comes with confidence, and this can prove especially true at work. Only you have the ability to determine whether you meet your career goals. So if you think self-doubt is undermining your chances to excel, try these tips for building confidence at work:

Carry yourself with confidence. Stand up straight—don’t slouch—and hold your head high. Steady eye contact, a firm handshake and an easy smile also are hallmarks of self-confidence. Speak loudly enough so that people don’t have to strain to hear you. Even if you feel a little unsure of yourself, your body language will display control, and can even positively affect your own state of mind. If you want to improve your performance, consider signing up for a public speaking class.

Gain confidence through experience. You can’t become an expert in your field overnight. But you can speed up the process. Read as much background information as you can on your company and projects, and practice the skills you need on the job whenever you can. For example, if you need to know how to operate a certain computer software program quickly, check out a library book about it, watch online tutorials, or sign up for a class that might help. In the process, however, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Rather than shy away from new tasks, learn by trial and error. That can be the best way to learn exactly how and why certain methods work.

Make the first move. Rather than letting fears about others’ opinions sap your confidence, approach them first. Don’t waste time wondering if your colleagues like and respect you. Ask them questions or strike up a chat when you have a couple minutes of free time—circulating will boost your confidence and keep you too busy to worry about yourself.

Break large tasks into manageable chunks. Don’t let the weight of a big job collapse your confidence. Make a list of smaller, individual tasks and set a timetable for their completion. Crossing them off your list will help provide motivation to finish the job.

Find a mentor or role model. Even if that person is a character in your favorite book, learn what makes her successful. Try to find ways to emulate that person’s best qualities and the strategies he used to get to the top. Listening also plays an important role in gaining experience. Have the patience to listen to others’ advice or tips, and try them out yourself.

Seek professional help. If you feel overwhelmed by your lack of confidence, or if your lack of confidence seriously affects your day-to-day functioning, you might want to talk to a mental health professional or even a career counselor. They can help you confront your fears and make progress toward your goals.

Most importantly, remember that it’s never too late to gain confidence. People don’t inherit confidence, they learn how to possess it.

By Kristen Knight

©2001-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: BBC Online, www.bbc.co.uk

Summary

• Align your career goals with the direction of your company’s business strategy.
• Work at your highest potential every day.
• Create opportunities to demonstrate your skills.

You can take steps to make sure your success in today’s ever-changing workplace. The first and most key step is to take responsibility for your own career management.

Steps to taking charge of your career choices

Line up your career goals with the path, needs, and realities of your company’s business plan.

• Make a plan for reaching your long- and short-term career goals.

Do a realistic appraisal of your skills, training, and functional expertise and plan strategically to build on the competencies needed for the company’s success.

Compare yourself to the high achievers in your company or field and look at the keys to their success.

• Explore both promotional and lateral opportunities. A lateral move may lay the groundwork for a big vertical move.

Create a network of professional contacts that are “in the know” about jobs of interest.

Take advantage of available information so that you are aware of key industry, organizational, professional, and competitor trends.

• Build on the skills that employers value as adding to the success of the company:
• Business knowledge and contribution to financial results
• Strategic thinking
• Leadership
• Problem solving
• Customer focus
• Individual effectiveness
• Versatility
• People skills
• View work as a chance to grow by crafting opportunities to prove your skills.
• Work at your highest potential each day to move toward the position or goal for which you are striving. This will give you a sustainable competitive lead in the future.

By Karen M. Dale, R.N., M.S.N., C.S.

©2001-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Try to pinpoint the causes of your anxiety.
• Cut yourself some slack.
• Find out as much about your company and department as you can. 
• Be friendly and respectful with everyone.

You’ve just landed a new job. You’re happy—but also scared. While getting a job inspires pride and excitement, the prospect of facing the unknown can be scary. Fortunately, there are common sense solutions to dealing with new job stress.

Making a good first impression

Don’t take yourself too seriously—cut yourself some slack if it takes you a while to learn the layout of a new building or get your co-workers’ names right.

Try to personalize your workspace, but make sure you adhere to any company policies regarding office decoration. Also, ask about the dress code before you start.

Learning new rules

You probably will encounter an entirely new workplace culture in your new job. You can minimize the transition period by learning the ins and outs of the job as quickly as possible.

Find out as much about your company and department as you can. Study the company hierarchy. Establish how rigidly your co-workers adhere to the chain of command and find out where you fit in. Learn whether your department encourages teamwork or independent work.

Working with new people

Being the new kid on the block is one of the most intimidating aspects of starting a new job. Try to gauge the level of familiarity at the office. Do people treat each other as close friends or keep their work and personal lives separate?

Be friendly and respectful with everyone. Try to make yourself part of the office grapevine or you may find yourself permanently out of the loop. However, avoid getting involved in office politics, which often are negative.

Meeting new expectations

Lack of communication is a big factor with failure at a new job. Ask for clarification if you feel unsure about what’s expected of you, even if that makes you uncomfortable. More importantly, listen to what people tell you.

Dealing with fear of losing your job

When you start a job, your most immediate concern may be hanging on to it. Uncertainty about your performance, coupled with a fickle economy, may leave you feeling uneasy.

Ask questions about the company and its strategies for weathering (an) economic storm. Showing concern about your—and the company’s—future is a positive characteristic rather than a deficiency on your part. The more you know about the future prospects of your new job, the better you will be able to deal with stressors and unexpected situations that might arise.

Use change to your advantage. Log your accomplishments as a way to track progress in your new position. However, if the stress associated with a new job is seriously affecting your life, make sure you get appropriate professional help.

By Kristen Knight

©2003-2021 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Acknowledge your emotions.
• Seek support from family and friends.
• Take some time off to recharge and re-assess.

You’ve been dreading this moment. Or, maybe worse, it comes as a total surprise. Either way, getting the word that you’re suddenly out of work is a blow to both the psyche and pocketbook. It can be among the most stressful of life events.

How you choose to deal with that trauma can make a big difference in its long-term effects. The attitude, focus, and drive that you display in a job search do make a difference. One day, you may be able to look back on your job loss as a positive event.

Here are some tips for coping with the loss of a job:

Acknowledge your emotions. Job loss is like any other loss. It leads to a grieving process. Allow yourself to grieve.

Seek support from family and friends. When you look for a job, you’re expected to present a confident face to the world, so if you’re not feeling confident, you’ll need to talk to a supportive friend or family member. It’s also wise to speak with someone who has been laid off in the past.

Take some time off to recharge and re-assess. If you’ve been living from paycheck to paycheck, you may have to find work as soon as possible. But if you have a cushion, you should take some time to work through your emotions and re-assess your career path.

Try to see the layoff as a 50,000-mile tune-up. Do a “life inventory” and ask, “What really feels like me right now?” The answer may be that you’ve been in a rut and need a change that better fits your personality and talents.

Learn from this job loss. Maybe you weren’t prepared this time around. Your résumé may have been out-of-date and you may not have any networking contacts. Being out of work teaches the value of such things, along with sharpening self-marketing skills such as interviewing.

And when is the best time to prepare for job loss? When it seems least likely.

By Tom Gray

©2003-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Annette Richmond, President, Richmond Consulting Group, Rowayton, CT; Mark Gorkin, LICSW, Washington, DC; Capiz Greene, President, Greenelight Professional Development, Omaha, NE; Bradford Agry, Principal, CareerTeam Partners, New York, NY; Tori Bucko, Director of Goodwill Services, Goodwill Industries of Southern Indiana

Summary

• Confront the perpetrator, asking them to stop the behavior.
• Document offensive behaviors.

Maureen has a problem with her co-worker, Jim. “During a recent project meeting, I was venting my frustration over the workload, and he reached out and rubbed my shoulder. Another time, he said ‘hi,’ squeezing my arm as we passed in the hall. Touching makes me feel very uncomfortable, but I’m not sure he means anything by it. I don’t want to get the guy in trouble—he’s a nice guy and a good worker. But I want the behavior to stop.”

Maureen’s problem with Jim illustrates a gray area surrounding sexual harassment that many women—and even some men—experience in the workplace. Is Jim’s behavior sexual harassment? Or is Maureen overreacting?

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is any unwelcome physical or verbal conduct of a sexual nature in the workplace. Offensive jokes, suggestive comments, offensive pictures or objects, or flirting can be considered sexual harassment if the behavior or situation interferes with an individual’s job performance or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment—even if the perpetrator truly didn’t “mean any harm.”

Research suggests that even low-level sexual harassment—the gray area—can impact an individual’s emotional well-being, professional relationships and job satisfaction, as well as economic status (if the individual chooses to leave the job to escape the situation).

Maureen suspects that Jim simply wants to be supportive of her. Still, she finds his behavior offensive, and it causes her emotional distress. What can Maureen do to stop the unwanted behavior and encourage a purely professional relationship with Jim?

Coping with sexual harassing behavior—a direct approach

Confront the perpetrator, asking him/her to stop the behavior:

Be specific. Keep your body posture strong and assured. Do not smile. Make it clear that you don’t like the behavior. You do not need to be apologetic or provide explanation. Here are some examples:

• “Jim, sometimes you touch me when we are talking, such as rubbing my shoulder or squeezing my arm when you pass. I prefer that you do not touch me when we talk.”
• “Mary, I would like you to stop staring at me in the break room and making suggestive comments—it’s offensive to me.”

If the first attempt fails, try again with a stronger rebuff:

• “Jim, I’ve told you not to touch me. I insist that you stop.”

A third and final attempt to ask the perpetrator to stop could go like this:

• “Mary, I’ve already told you that the way you look and talk to me is inappropriate and offensive. If you do not stop, I’m going to have to report this behavior to personnel.”

If spoken attempts to stop the offensive behavior fail, put your demands in writing and hand deliver the letter to the perpetrator:

List the explicit behavior, including as much detail as possible, such as when and where the behavior occurred and any witnesses to the incident. Also, mention how you want your relationship to be. For example, “I want our relationship to be purely professional.” If the behavior occurs more than once or twice, mention that the specific incident described in the letter is just one of many. A written approach shows that you are very serious and are possibly considering reporting the behavior.

Document offensive behaviors using a bound book that paper cannot be added to.

Detail the incident, as previously described. Jot down direct quotes; collect evidence, such as notes or materials sent to you. Keep your documentation at home.

Tell people you trust about the offending behavior when it happens.

Consider reporting the behavior to personnel or your supervisor.

Direct versus indirect coping strategies

The above approaches for dealing with inappropriate behavior or harassment are direct coping strategies. Confronting the harasser is an effective way to stop the unwanted behavior; it’s a problem-focused approach.

Most women, however, opt for indirect coping strategies, which are emotion-focused, such as:

• Avoiding the harasser
• “Laughing off” or excusing the behavior (such as, “Well, he’s in the middle of a divorce, so he’s going through a lot right now” or “This dress is a little short—I brought it on myself”)
• Reconceptualizing the behavior (such as, “She’s just complimentary” or “He’s just being supportive”)

If someone is making you feel uncomfortable at work, you need to take direct action sooner rather than later. Allowing the problem to persist can reduce self-esteem and cause feelings of self-doubt, self-blame, guilt, fear, anxiety, and depression. All of this can erode your conviction to directly approach the offender and solve the problem.

For more advice on handling sexual harassment, contact your employee assistance program or human resources department.

By Christine P. Martin

©2004-2021 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace and Academia: Psychiatric Issues edited by Diane K. Shrier, M.D. American Psychiatric Press, 1996; “Job-Related and Psychological Effects of Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: Empirical Evidence from Two Organizations” by Kimberly T. Schneider, Suzanne Swan and Louise Fitzgerald. (1997) Journal of Applied Psychology, 82(3); “Coping Styles” in Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, February, 2003.

Summary

People from different backgrounds often have to work together to get things done. The key to success is communication.

Are you culturally competent? Chances are that you have never asked that question. But cultural competency is a crucial skill. It enables you to work well with people whose backgrounds differ from yours. It can make or break you on your job. And it’s not just for the workplace. If you’re a foster parent, for example, it can make a big difference in your home life.

The first step is to understand a simple fact about yourself and others. Everyone, you included, is shaped by culture. Culture consists of the customs, attitudes, and beliefs of a group. Nations have cultures. So do families, social classes, religions, ethnic groups, and workplaces. You can be the product of several cultures.

Look, listen, and read

The next step is to study the subject. Learn about the cultures of those around you. Find out how their cultures differ from yours. In some areas, such as dress and manners, you can learn a lot just by watching and listening. It is also recommended that you do some reading. The Peace Corps’ online guide Culture Matters (see “Resources” below) is a good place to start.

Some cultural differences are out in the open. You may know already that not everyone in the world shakes hands as a greeting. Quite a few bow or kiss. You may have a very informal culture at work. It may be that everyone, including the boss, is on a first-name basis. That can be hard for someone who is used to a more formal work setting. The way we communicate can also be very different. You may believe in saying exactly what you think. Elsewhere, it may be seen as offensive to give a blunt “no” in answer to a request.

And remember: Looks can deceive. Race and ethnicity are only part of one’s unique cultural story. Don’t assume that someone must think a certain way because of her appearance. That’s stereotyping, and it can lead you to serious mistakes.

How to communicate

How do you get beyond appearances? One answer is to communicate. Talk with people about your differences—without trying to prove whose way is better. Done right, this type of communication brings people together. It unites them toward common goals. It helps them fit into a new culture—at a workplace, say—without going on their own.

Take the case of someone from a highly formal culture entering a casual American workplace. That newcomer will have to bend a bit to work well with the group. But he should not be made to feel that his way of doing things is inferior. In another context or another country, it might be the better choice.

Simma Leiberman is a management consultant based in Berkeley, CA. She suggests talking in terms of innovation or other common goals. “Let people know that they’re not wrong, but that we’ve found that the best way we get work done is to use first names,” Lieberman says. She adds, “If someone is reluctant to offer up ideas or question the boss, give them a safe space…make the ‘question the boss’ policy an order from the boss.”

Culture counts at home, too

When it comes to culture, work and home life are not as different as you might think. Age, gender, and education all shape your beliefs and your behavior. Each generation has a culture of its own. And in foster families, the differences can extend to race and economic class as well. Here it’s important to build unity but realize that you can’t treat every child the same.

Lieberman tells of a white couple who were foster parents of an African-American boy. When the boy told them he was being teased at school, they first said, “Everybody’s the same; don’t worry about it.” That might have been enough for them if they had been in the child’s shoes. But it wasn’t enough for this child. “The kid needed to know the parents were there for him,” Lieberman said. So they dealt with the problem and complained to the school.

Getting beyond differences

Cultural competency starts with understanding how people are different. But it doesn’t end there. In fact, its real goal is to get beyond differences. You can find ways to unite people from many cultures around common goals. We all come from different places, but we’re all in this together.

Resources

The Peace Corps’ Culture Matters, a practical guide that was developed for Peace Corps volunteers, has useful advice for any type of cross-cultural setting. It’s online at http://files.peacecorps.gov/multimedia/pdf/library/T0087_culturematters.pdf. Also valuable is the Peace Corps’ classroom guide series Building Bridges: http://files.peacecorps.gov/wws/pdf/BuildingBridges.pdf.

Wisconsin-based Professional Services Group and Community Impact Programs, which share a website at www.psgcip.com, have extensive resources for foster parents. See its page on cultural diversity at www.psgcip.com/becomeafosterparent/training/teachingculturaldiversity.php.

By Tom Gray

©2011-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Simma Lieberman, President, Simma Lieberman Associates, Berkeley, CA; Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute; Peace Corps; Professional Services Group/Community Impact Programs

Reviewed by Trenda Hedges, CRSS, Recovery Team Manager, Beacon Health Options

Summary

• Priorities and preferences can change as you grow older.
• Older workers should look for roles where experience is a crucial asset.
• No matter what the job or what your age, always be ready to learn.

People who want to, or must, keep working at an age when most others are thinking of retirement face at least two important tasks:

• To overcome any negative perceptions of others
• To accept the realities of aging and to make the most of them

This means looking for the best fit between your age and your job. You’re not the same person at 60 that you were at 20. The work that you do best—and that makes you the happiest—probably isn’t the same either.

General differences between older and younger workers

Job fit is highly individual, no matter what your age. No two people, whether in their 20s or 60s, have exactly the same set of skills, knowledge, values, and personality traits. But experts in management and career counseling say there are some common differences between older and younger workers, not just in what they’re able to do, but in what they want from their work.

Some of the differences are clearly connected to age. Older workers are more experienced, in both work and life. This can be a strong selling point, especially when combined with a willingness to learn.

Bahaudin Mujtaba, who teaches management at Florida’s Nova Southwestern University and has written on the aging of the workforce, says older workers are able to create value for employers right away. “You’re not going to waste their time or your time,” he says, “because you’ve already gone through” on-the-job training. The same experience makes older workers well-suited to teach and mentor.

Other differences between old and young are more subtle, but no less crucial. Beyond the need to make a living, the factors that motivate workers and drive job satisfaction can change profoundly over the years. Austin, Texas-based career coach Pat Goodwin says workers at the older end of the spectrum “want to be productive and keep their minds busy.”

The young, by contrast, are looking for recognition from bosses, peers, and the world at large. Nancy Anderson, a San Francisco-based career consultant, says younger workers are “really externally oriented. It’s what’s going on out there that’s really important to them.”

Older workers “are more internally motivated. They’re more after ‘What will make me feel good about me?’” Anderson adds, “They’re not as susceptible to outside influences that will make them sometimes go in the wrong direction to please people.”

How can these insights help you decide if your current job fits who you are at your point in life? And what can you do to make that job a better fit?

Take advantage of your age-related strengths

Take inventory of what you’ve learned over the years and how you’ve changed. You’ll probably find that you’ve gained know-how—along with the patience to teach it—that can make you valuable to your employer.

Even without changing your formal job title, you might be able to change the focus of your work to activities, such as mentoring, that play to your strengths. The key steps are to recognize those strengths and to tell your supervisor that you want to make use of them.

Know your values and follow their lead

It’s important to match your choice of work to the standards and priorities you apply to your life in general. It’s also good to reflect on your values from time to time and notice how they change as you grow older. You may place greater stress on work-life balance now than you did when you were starting out. You may have a deeper understanding of what customers really need—which isn’t necessarily to buy this or that product.

Seek roles where your age and experience give you credibility

There are plenty of roles where age and experience are a plus—or should be recognized as such by employers. Age lends credibility to financial planners and advisors by conveying patience and perspective. In teaching and training, experience is a source of content as well as credibility.

“One of the important things is to have stories,” says Goodwin. In a long career, you’re likely to have picked up some great stories to make your points. With age also comes a certain level of patience, which makes older workers good for mentoring and training roles.

Stay flexible and keep learning

One thing that never changes is the fact of change itself. Old or young, you will always need new skills and knowledge. But older workers may need to make an extra effort here, if only to prove to their supervisor or employer that they are every bit as flexible and willing to learn as younger workers are. Show that you’re a life-long learner, and you just may find that you have a life-long opportunity to do useful and satisfying work.

Resources

Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond by Nancy Anderson. New World Library, 2010.

“Older Workers: Use Your Age to Your Advantage” by recruiter Joe Turner of Swenson Turner Inc., www.jobdig.com/articles/1431/Older_Workers:__Use_Your_Age_to_Your_Advantage.html

By Tom Gray

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Nancy Anderson (www.workwithpassion.com); Pat Goodwin, Pat Goodwin & Associates; Bahaudin Mujtaba, associate professor of management, H. Wayne Huizenga School of Business and Entrepreneurship, Nova Southeastern University, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

Gathering information first can make filling out a job application or writing your resume much less stressful. These suggestions from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics may help you get organized.

Gathering information

Resumes and application forms give employers written evidence of your qualifications and skills. The goal of these documents is to prove—as clearly and directly as possible—how your qualifications match the job’s requirements. Do this by highlighting the experience, accomplishments, education and skills that most closely fit the job you want.

Resumes and application forms both include the same information. As a first step, gather the following facts:

• Contact information: your name, mailing address, email address and telephone number
• Type of work or specific job you are seeking, or a qualifications summary, which describes your best skills and experience in just a few lines
• Education: school name and its city and state, months and years of attendance, highest grade completed or diploma or degree awarded and major subject or subjects studied. Also consider listing courses and awards that might be relevant to the position. Include a grade point average if you think it would help in getting the job.
• Experience, paid and volunteer: For each job, include the job title, name and location of employer and dates of employment. Briefly describe your job duties and major accomplishments.
• Special skills: You might list computer skills, proficiency in foreign languages, achievements or membership in organizations in a separate section.
• References: Be ready to provide references if requested. Good references could be former employers, coworkers, teachers or anyone else who can describe your abilities and job-related traits. You will be asked to provide contact information for the people you choose.

Source: Military OneSource

Summary

• Pursue more training in your field.
• Expand your job responsibilities.
• Enjoy your work.
• Find a mentor.

Are you making enough money? Does your boss’s boss know your name? Are you a candidate for promotion? Have you been formally complimented on your work? If you answer “no” to any of these, then you might not be receiving the job recognition that you deserve, and that may sap your motivation to do your best.

Whether you have been working for two years or 20, you can advance your career and raise your self-esteem by earning positive attention at work. If you have the energy and ambition, here are some strategies to jump-start your career:

Get specific

First, decide exactly what sort of recognition you want. Remember, there are lots of kinds of recognition. Do you want a raise? A bonus? A promotion? If you are happy with your salary, but would like your boss to acknowledge the extra effort you put into a recent project, request feedback on your performance. Jot down your career goals for this month, this year and the next five years, and then brainstorm ways to achieve them.

Pursue training

Take advantage of every training opportunity offered by your company, regardless of whether it relates directly to your job. You may want to attend evening classes to bolster key computer or management skills. Let your supervisor know when you have completed a course or learned a new program.

Ask for a challenge

Inform your boss if you would like to expand your job responsibilities, and schedule a short meeting so that you can discuss options. Explain that you would like to take on more challenges and are looking for opportunities to use new skills. Make some specific suggestions that address your company’s particular needs. If your supervisor does give you extra responsibility, write a memo a few weeks later describing your progress.

Use numbers

If you can describe your achievements in numbers, let your boss know in an email, memo, note, or formal report. Have sales increased 50 percent since you joined the department? Have customer complaints decreased by 30 percent? Quantify your success and others will take notice.

Enjoy your work

Enthusiastic employees almost always receive more recognition. Even if you do not love every aspect of your job, stay positive about what you do enjoy. Your supervisor will genuinely appreciate your upbeat attitude.

Get visible

Look for ways to increase your professional profile. Offer to write for the company newsletter, come up with some ideas for the website or suggest a departmental charity drive. By becoming more visible, you will be more likely to win recognition.

Find a mentor

One of the best ways to improve your prospects is to find a mentor—someone you admire both personally and professionally who might be willing to provide career guidance. A mentor can be a source of invaluable advice and information. If you know someone who might be a good mentor, ask if she would be willing to take on the role.

Whenever possible, let your boss know about your goals and ask for suggestions on how to achieve them. Increase awareness of your valuable contributions, and get the recognition you deserve!

By Lauren Greenwood

©2000-2021 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: www.Monster.com; The Wall Street Journal online http://online.wsj.com/

Summary

Consider the following:

• Dependable transportation.
• Dependable child care.

An important factor in your work success is being reliable. This means getting there on time, every day. You’re going to have to think about how you will get to work. Planning ahead will help you avoid a lot of stress. Transportation and child care will be ongoing issues.

Make sure you have trusty transportation. If you drive, make sure your car has plenty of gas and is well maintained. If you don’t drive, learn the bus schedules and have the right change. If busses don’t run in your town, you may have to walk, ride a bicycle, or get a ride from a friend or relative. Have a back-up plan in case your car doesn’t start or if you miss your bus.

If you have children, you need to find dependable child care. You may be lucky and have a relative or neighbor you trust who can watch your child. If not, you will have to find a good day care or babysitter. If you are on Supplemental Security Income (SSI) or on a welfare-to-work program, your caseworker may be able to help you to find child care.

By Haline Grublak, CPHQ, Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

A career counselor holds a graduate degree in counseling and specializes in helping people formulate and follow through with life and career plans.

Work shouldn’t feel like a daily grind, a place where you show up every day just so you can take home a paycheck. If you’re still looking for your dream job, or if you’re just not sure what the next step in your career path might be, then a career counselor could provide you with valuable help.

Even in this era of job-hopping, many people still look for a career they want to commit to. Making that career commitment can be tough—it requires research, education, and goal-setting.

How can a career counselor help?

A career counselor holds a graduate degree in counseling and specializes in helping people formulate and follow through with life and career plans. According to the National Career Development Association and other experts, career counselors tailor strategies depending on the client, and can provide many services designed to help people looking for a new direction, including:

• Provide individual or group counseling sessions to help clarify short- and long-term career goals
• Offer tests and/or inventories and exploratory activities to assess interests, abilities, and options
• Develop individualized career plans
• Teach job-hunting strategies and help develop resumes
• Help develop interview, negotiation, and career advancement skills
• Help improve decision-making and on-the-job human relations skills
• Support people experiencing job loss, career transition, and job stress
• Create strategies to increase understanding of the world of work and the integration of work and other roles

Finding a career counselor

If you believe you could benefit from a career counselor’s services, take time to find the right one. First, compile a list of potential career counselors. Ask friends and family members for any recommendations. You also can get a listing of national certified career counselors in your area from the National Board for Certified Counselors (NBCC), which maintains a website. To become certified, those counselors have met a specific set of standards including earning a graduate degree and working in the field for several years, among other requirements.

In addition, many states have laws and boards governing licensing and the practice of counselors. You many want to contact your state’s licensing board to check the credentials of a counselor or to ask for a list of licensed counselors. Your local library also may have a listing of career services in your area.

Once you have a list, contact those counselors or agencies to get a feel for what you can expect from each. Important questions to ask include:

• What programs are offered, and how do they work?
• Who will provide the services, and what experience does that person have?
• What is the counselor or agency’s success rate?
• How much do the services cost?
• Is a contract required?

Be wary of those who proclaim they have a 100 percent success rate or make promises of huge salaries. Most likely, those claims are not true.

Getting started

Once you’ve selected a counselor, prepare for your first session. You should be aware of your rights as a consumer. According to the NBCC, before you even start, you are entitled to:

• Know your counselor’s qualifications
• Receive a description of the services to be rendered and their costs
• Understand the time commitment required of you
• Receive copies of your records
• Confidentiality
• Receive a referral for a second opinion
• Terminate the relationship at any time

But, you also have responsibilities. Make an effort to keep your appointments and follow through with the work required to meet your goals. You also should think long and hard about your career goals before you begin counseling. Try to flesh them out, or at least brainstorm some ideas. A career counselor can provide valuable help, but not magically transform your life.

By Kristen Knight

©2001-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

Offer emotional support to your unemployed spouse by listening to their concerns.

Has your companion lost their job? Has a gloomy feeling settled in—maybe causing both of you to feel very stressed, even hopeless?

You can play a major role in helping your mate to rebound. While finding a new job can be a long process, your attitude and clear-headed approach can help turn the crisis around. 

Offer emotional support

Act and speak in hopeful ways. This will help your spouse to assume the same attitude. A hopeful atmosphere at home should help your mate feel more confident during job interviews.

Listen to your mate’s real concerns. If you voice too much optimism, you will only cause them to feel cut off and totally alone with the problems.

Remind them that temporary plans are powerful. For example, finding a temporary job, as quickly as possible, can be the bridge to get your family across troubled waters.

Encourage them to divide up time wisely. Looking for a new job will be stressful. Remind your mate that mixing too many tasks in a single day will cause confusion and more stress.

Point out that working in long stretches and focusing well works best. For example: Could your spouse research job opportunities Thursday through Saturday? Then, they could make calls, send emails and submit applications Monday through Wednesday. 

Keeping your marriage intact

Since preserving your family is your foremost goal, don’t allow a job search to hurt your marriage. Do these things to take pressure off the relationship:

Spend time apart. Tension will escalate if you spend all of your free time with your mate while you’re under severe stress. Besides, spending time apart allows you both to see friends—who may offer job ideas, support and tips for networking.

Do some nice things for yourself. Sure, you may be the spouse who’s still employed, but doesn’t that simply add to your own pressures? Recognize that you need attention and stress-relief, too.

Keep your “honey do” list reasonable. An unemployed person is probably struggling with ego problems, not to mention anxiety and outright fear. So avoid the temptation to use them for too many chores or errands—just because they’re not at work. 

Incorporate recreation religiously. All work and no play can drive couples apart—even if there aren’t any employment problems going on. Now isn’t the time to stay overly serious 24 hours a day.

Dealing with the job search

As you try to relieve stress, keep in mind that acquiring a job is still your mate’s main goal. Encourage them to create a plan of action as soon as possible.

Remind your spouse to:

Visit job counselors and consultants. Even if you must pay an expert to offer advice on job hunting and career transitions, this can be money well spent.

Track the action plan in writing. One lost email address could cost your partner an interview. One failure to follow up on a phone call could cost them a job.

Since writing is an active endeavor—requiring thought and planning—this exercise will help your mate to feel more in control of the job search process. By tracking people to contact about jobs, dates for letters to go out, and times for interviews, your spouse can “strategize” the job search and follow up promptly on every contact. 

Invent possible jobs from their host of skills. Help your spouse think up possible employment by listing their skills from baking to banking.

Put all odds in their favor. That is, submit plenty of resumes—at least 30 each week—and keep the phone calls and emails going. Nothing takes the place of dedicated calling, emailing and following up.

By Judi Light Hopson

©2002-2021 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Control your emotional response.
• Stay focused.

How can you keep your cool and maintain productivity when working in a pressure-cooker environment? Try a combination of strategies that help manage both acute and ongoing work pressures.

Dealing with acute pressure

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re dealing with competing priorities or a fast-approaching deadline—particularly when “surprises” that come up steal your attention away from the task at hand.

These ideas will help you handle immediate crises:

Bust that stress: You might feel like you don’t have time to let off steam. But doing so will help you stay calm and be sensible in your approach to the high-pressure situation.

Quick, stress-busting techniques you can do at your desk include deep breathing, guided imagery, and progressive muscle relaxation.

Control your emotional response: Your thoughts can determine the emotions you experience. So, if you take control of your thoughts, you can control your reaction. For example, self-defeating thoughts such as “I’m never going to get this done” or “I’m not good enough” will serve to delay and hold back productivity.

Stay focused: Give your full attention to one thing at a time. If you are interrupted by something that will take you two minutes or less, take care of it right away.

To help you prioritize and stay focused, ask yourself these questions:

• What is really important in this situation?
• If I could only do one thing, what would it be?
• What does this situation need of me that only I can contribute?
• Can somebody else handle this?

Managing ongoing work pressure

Consider these ideas for keeping stress at bay:

Get organized and clear your head: It’s hard to be productive when our minds are “full.” When you have many deadlines, priorities and to-dos— both at work and at home and of varying levels of importance—you have a steady source of mental stress that interrupts and hinders your productivity at work.

Although there is no single “right” way to get organized, find a system that works for you so you can be a top performer while keeping track of it all.

Maintain work/life balance.:Simple habits such as getting enough sleep and eating right can make a big difference to how you face the workday each morning.

Also, giving serious thought to what renews your spirit—such as spending time with your children—and carving out time for these priorities can reduce job pressure and keep you productive.

By Christine P. Martin

©2007-2021 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity by David Allen. Penguin, 2001; Crunch Point: The 21 Secrets to Succeeding When It Matters Most by Brian Tracy. AMACOM, 2006; Making Work Work: New Strategies for Surviving and Thriving at the Office by Julie Morgenstern. Simon & Schuster, 2004; Anxious 9 to 5: How to Beat Worry, Stop Second-guessing Yourself, and Work With Confidence by Larina Kase and Joe Vitale. New Harbinger, 2006; The Relaxation and Stress-reduction Workbook by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman and Matthew McKay. New Harbinger, 2000.

Summary

• Practice your pitch with a friend.
• Know your facts and arguments.
• Know your bottom line.
• Don’t give away your game plan.

We negotiate all the time, whether we’re making deals with our boss, our kids, our neighbor, or our spouse. We’re often negotiating items of critical importance—jobs, money, vacations, and relationships. Yet how many of us take the time to learn how to do it competently? Negotiating may be an art, but it’s also a skill that can be learned.

Get over the fear

Many people dislike and avoid negotiating, which can end up costing them money over a lifetime. Force yourself to do it anyway. Knowledge, preparation, and practice can help dispel some of the fear, and in time, you’ll get better at it. Practice your pitch with a friend or colleague; have him role-play with you.

Do your homework

Know your facts and arguments. Knowledge of the market is critical to any purchasing deal. If you’re negotiating a raise or a job, know what attributes you bring to the company—specifically, how you meet your employer’s needs. Anticipate the questions and arguments of the other player.

Know what you want and what you need out of the deal—and know the difference between the two. It’s equally important to figure out what the person on the other side of the table wants and needs. Ask questions and listen carefully to the answers.

Take your time

Time is a big issue and an important advantage to have on your side. The “motivated seller” is one who needs to close the deal quickly. If you know someone is under a deadline, that’s a card to play to your advantage. Act as if you have all the time and options in the world.

Work your options

Subtly, let the other person know you have other options (another house, another job). But if you do this, make sure you really do have other options. There will always be another house or car, but is there another viable job out there for you? Don’t ever threaten to walk away unless you mean it.

Know your strength

Answer the question honestly: Who has more power in this situation? If you’re shopping for a car that you want but don’t need, you have the power to walk away. If you’re negotiating a benefits package at a job you don’t want to lose, the boss has the upper hand. Knowing where you stand gives you the strength to walk away or the wisdom to compromise. 

Compromise

Most negotiations require some compromise. That’s why it’s important to know your bottom line and what you’re willing to let go. Try to avoid getting backed into either/or positions: “Either you meet my price, or I’m out of here.” Don’t set deadlines or goals that don’t leave any wiggle room.

Be creative

If you’re negotiating with a contractor, you could angle for a lower price by offering to buy supplies yourself, such as the paint. Compromise requires the courage and creativity to put ideas on the table.

Hold your cards close

Don’t be a fake or a liar, either of which can ruin future relationships, but don’t give away your game plan either. After all, it’s unwise to go into a negotiation stating how high or low you’re willing to go. When negotiating a compensation package, for example, you may want both a 15 percent raise and an increase in vacation days. However, if the vacation days mean more to you than the amount of the salary increase, there’s no need to let your boss know that. That way, you can start out trying to get both, then compromise only if you have to on the raise.

This kind of “poker playing” applies to business deals; personal-relationship negotiations require honest, up-front communication.

Don’t be afraid to initiate a negotiation

Sometimes all you have to do is ask: Is that charge negotiable? If they say no, be prepared to toss out some creative ideas. For example, if you’re hiring someone to build a website for you, you could ask for a lower fee in exchange for letters of recommendation.

Go for the win-win

Throughout the process, it’s important to show that you have an understanding of the other person’s concerns. Verbally recognize that the other person has a need to make a fair profit or have a schedule met, and that you’re willing to work toward a situation where everyone is satisfied. Successful negotiators know to go for win-win situations.

People who seek to dominate without wisdom or fairness tend to create enemies. Such “conquerors” may win the battle but lose the war. This is especially true when you’re negotiating in an arena where good ongoing relationships are required.

Diffuse emotion

Keep focused on the issues, not the personalities at the table. If you’re negotiating with someone who is angry, recognize her anger but then move toward finding a solution. Avoid becoming too emotional or insulting. If the situation gets out of hand, call things off and try again another day.

Have a backup plan

Know what your backup plan is if the negotiation doesn’t come out the way you want. Are you ready to walk away from the deal? Are you willing to live with the compromises? What are your options? If negotiations stall, agree to meet another day; maybe situations will change or new ideas will come to both of you.

By Amy Fries

©2005-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, Bruce Patton and William Urey. Penguin Group, 1991; “How to Negotiate Anything” by Michael Kaplan, Money Magazine, May 2005; Small Business Administration, www.sba.gov; “Smart Buyers Know How to Negotiate” by Robert J. Bruss, The Los Angeles Times, 2005.

Summary

To prepare for an interview:

• Talk about your best skills.
• Learn company information.
• Know your rights.

At some point in your job search, you will be invited to a job interview. Before you go into a job interview, it’s good to be ready.

First, know your skills and abilities. You likely have many skills that you don’t even know about. Ask a friend what she thinks your good qualities are. Some of these qualities can translate into job skills. Write them down and learn them by heart.

Second, learn as much as you can about the business where you have your meeting. Employers are impressed when a person comes into the meeting and knows about their business.

Finally, practice. Pair up with a friend. Think about some questions that an employer might ask and write them down. Have your friend play the part of the company and practice the meeting.

Americans with Disabilities Act

Know your rights under The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 and 2008 (ADA). It is a civil rights law that protects people with disabilities. It also applies to state and local government, public settings, public services, and transportation. Parts of this law also apply to the workplace. The ADA protects people with mental illness if they meet certain standards.

The ADA protects disabled people who are looking for work in the following ways:

• There are limits to the questions that can be asked when applying for a job. These limits apply during the meeting, before a job offer is made. An employer cannot ask questions that might reveal a disability. This includes questions about mental illness. For example, in an interview, an employer cannot ask, “Do you have a mental illness?” or “Have you ever been in counseling?” The same applies to questions on a written job form.
• You don’t have to tell the person that you have a disability. Hiring choices should be based on a person’s skills to do the job. You do not have to make your disability known at the time you apply for a job. This is true even if you may need a workplace change at a later time. In fact, you can wait until you need an accommodation. It may be months later before you tell about your disability.
• After an employer has offered you a job, he does have the right to ask you about your health or disabilities. This can only be done as long as the info is kept private. Also, all staff hired for the same type of job must be asked the same questions. An employer can only use this to cancel the job offer if his reasons are “job related and in keeping with business needs.”

The ADA has steps to take for the interview and hiring process. You can learn more by reading about the ADA on the Internet.

By Haline Grublak, CPHQ, Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

Reasonable job accommodations:

• Leave of absence without pay.
• Policy changes.
• Changing the work schedule.

A job accommodation is a change that is made to a job or the workplace. The change helps a worker with a disability do the basic duties of the job. This change does not alter the main job functions. The accommodation cannot cost too much. It also can’t make the employer change their location. Examples of accommodations for persons who have a mental illness may include:

• Leave of absence without pay (for example, counseling, hospitalizations, taking care of symptoms).
• Policy changes. These can include letting someone on medicine take breaks more often. These breaks may be to drink water or use the bathroom.
• Bringing a job coach to work to help learn the job.
• Changing the work schedule. This is helpful if a person’s medicine makes him groggy in the morning. 

These are examples of a few types of accommodations that might help a person with disabilities succeed on the job.

If you think a job accommodation will help you, talk to your boss. It’s not your employer’s duty to guess if you need one. He won’t be held liable if he doesn’t give you an accommodation if you didn’t ask. You don’t have to ask for it in writing. But, you should keep some kind of record of any talks or meetings you have.

Once you’ve asked for a job accommodation, your company must make a good effort to set it up. You also have to be willing to work with your company. If you don’t work with them in setting up the change, you may lose your rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Your company may ask you to show medical proof of your disability. If your company suggests a change, and you don’t think it will help, you should suggest something else. You may want to ask for an advocate to help you.

By Haline Grublak, CPHQ, Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Relationships matter; make sure you connect with others.
• Develop a habit of learning.
• Be grateful that you’re making a living; appreciate the little things at work, too.

If you’re the typical adult working-age American, you spend about a third of each day, five days each week, doing what must be done to put bread on the table. For some, this work is so interesting that it’s a reward in its own right. For others, it’s pure drudgery.

For most of us, it’s a mix of good and not-so-good days. There are times when the job reminds you why you were so excited about getting it. There are other times when you wonder why you’ve stayed with it so long.

Is there anything you can do to make those not-so-good days a little brighter? The answer is usually yes, though you have to make some effort. Learning to love your job is especially helpful when times are tough and you see little opportunity beyond your current workplace. Rather than feeling trapped, you can find new ways to make the most of where you are and what you have.

If your job is getting you down, do a “self-audit” and act on it

This does not mean looking for the exit. Of course, there may be a time when your job is such a poor fit for you that you have to leave. It’s usually much easier, though, to stay where you are, change your thinking and do what you can to adjust your current job to your skills and interests.

How to do this? Social psychologist Rachelle Canter, author of Make the Right Career Move, suggests that you “do a kind of self-audit” to counteract your sense that a job has gone stale. “Go over the time you have been in this job and think about those times you were really excited about what you were doing,” she says. Be specific. If you remember liking that strategic planning project a couple of years back, think about what particular tasks within the project excited you the most. Maybe you liked the research much better than the presentation, or vice versa. Then take action, says Canter: “Look for or create opportunities where you can do those things” that you found exciting in the past.

Connectedness counts

Most workplaces don’t allow you to redefine your job all by yourself. You need permission and cooperation from others. This is one reason why good relationships with co-workers and supervisors are so important. The more people you have in your corner, the more help you can expect in your effort to match your job with your passions.

The “attitude of connectedness,” as workplace consultant Lynne Eisaguirre calls it, has other benefits. At work as in the rest of life, she says, even introverts need social support. “An attitude of isolation can really wear you down,” says Eisaguirre. She suggests taking some modest steps to build a sense of community at work—suggesting that co-workers get together on a local charity project, for instance.

Some connections may need repair. Bad relationships “are the number one reason why people quit or get fired from jobs,” says author and speaker Jane Boucher. And even if your job is not in jeopardy, relieving tensions with a co-worker, boss, or employee—or making a distant relationship closer—can make your job much more pleasant. Boucher stresses that the repair work needs to be done face-to-face: “You can’t do relationships via email.”

Rediscover the joy of learning

This does not necessarily mean going back to school. You may not have time for that. But you may have plenty of opportunities on the job to develop new skills and expand your knowledge. Doing so not only makes work more interesting but also makes you more valuable to employers, co-workers, and customers.

Don’t assume that new skills are useless in a slow job market. Unless you and your job are a hopeless mismatch, your aim is not to land another job but to enhance your current one. New skills can open doors within an organization, not just outside it. In fact, says Canter, employers in economic downturns often create new opportunities by cutting positions. “The silver lining in down markets is that there are generally fewer people to do the work and unserved niches that you can fill,” she says.

The cash isn’t trash (nor are the benefits)

“Money can’t buy you love,” sang The Beatles, but they weren’t singing about jobs. Yes, there’s more to work than the paycheck, the health plan and the 401(k), but would you be showing up if you weren’t paid?

Take a minute now and then, especially when the job gets dreary, to count your purely material blessings. These go far to put the annoyances of a job in perspective. “The first thing you do,” says Boucher, “is to be grateful that you have a job that pays you an income in this market. If you’re making a living, and somebody’s paying your benefits, and maybe you have a retirement plan, be grateful.” 

Speaking of gratitude, being thankful for the little things can help as well. Enjoy lunch with a friendly co-worker. Savor that “job well done” from a team member. These “perks” can make a difference, too.

By Tom Gray

©2008-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Rachelle J. Canter, PhD, president, RJC Associates; Jane Boucher, www.janeboucher.com; Lynne Eisaguirre, president, Workplaces That Work; How to Love the Job You Hate: Job Satisfaction for the 21st Century by Jane Boucher, Beagle Bay Books, 2004.

Summary

Employees have a responsibility to fight apathy, stay engaged with their work and take charge of their own attitude.

In a typical workday, you might spend about a third of your hours on the job, a third sleeping and another third doing everything else. With so much time invested at the workplace, doesn’t it make sense to make the most of it? And not just the most money. The material rewards of work are crucial, but so are the emotional ones. If you don’t really care about your job, you’re wasting precious time even if the money is good.

Apathy at work is of great concern to employers. It cuts into employees’ productivity, morale, and loyalty—and therefore into profits. That’s why part of a manager’s job is to combat apathy by creating a workplace that nurtures and rewards employee engagement. But supervisors and CEOs can’t do everything. Employees also have a responsibility to fight apathy, stay engaged with their work, and take charge of their own attitude.

There are times, say experts in motivation and workplace psychology, when an employee and a particular job just aren’t made for each other. If you’re just going through the motions or are working for a boss who won’t listen or give you a chance to show what you can do, you may be ready to move on to a new job.

But as author and conflict-management specialist Andra Medea points out, your enemy may be apathy itself rather than anything in your surroundings. If you don’t solve that attitude problem, she says, “you can always go to another department or a new job, but apathy goes with you.”

Focus and motivation tips

How do you make sure that you’re as focused and motivated as you should be? Here are some tips:

• Take control. “People often feel apathy at work because they feel so out of control,” says Medea. “They’re at a job they don’t want, among people they didn’t choose, doing work light-years away from their dreams.” This feeling of powerlessness can become a “self-fulfilling loop,” she adds. It discourages employees from trying to make an impact, and the lack of impact seems to confirm it.
  But even lower-level jobs give employees some room to affect the outcome of their work in ways that could lead to more interesting positions and better pay. If done well, for instance, basic customer service can open doors. “If you can deal with customers well, and you can solve other people’s problems, you can go to another department and they will be glad to see you,” says Medea.
• Show initiative. John Baldoni, a consultant, author, and speaker who specializes in motivation, says everyone should exercise “personal leadership” even if he is not formally in charge of anything. “Not everyone needs a leader, but in an organization you have to lead yourself,” he says. “Managers have a right to expect it from you.”
  Baldoni says personal leadership means a willingness to take on extra assignments, make contributions to the organization and be accountable for one’s actions. “Leaders” in this sense do things such as writing their own performance objectives (with approval of managers), learning new skills on the job, asking for cross-functional assignments, and asking for feedback.
• Don’t fight apathy alone. Alan Weiss, an expert in organizational development, says employees can shape their own attitudes by sharing insights and experiences. He suggests forming support groups (but not gripe sessions), taking the lead in company events such as blood drives and community sponsorship through legitimate channels, such as the human resources department, and talking with people at other companies or departments. The latter step, says Weiss, is a way of overcoming the “grass is greener” effect—the usually exaggerated impression that another workplace is more fun and rewarding than your present one.
  As for support groups, Weiss says, the key is to “find kindred spirits who make two determinations: Things need improvement around here, and it’s worth staying.” Such people can help you by comparing notes on what works to improve a job or solve a problem. One of your colleagues may show you how to make yourself more valuable to the organization. Another may make you aware of how you can deal with an issue through human resources or an employee assistance program. A group can also be more effective than one employee acting alone if a problem (or an idea for improvement) needs to be brought to the attention of management.
• Keep your balance. You’ve heard it said many times: Work should not be your whole life. A job can drain your energy and spirit fast if it leaves you no time for anything else. Showing initiative is important, but Weiss says it’s also crucial to not work long hours to the exclusion of family, outside interests, civic matters, hobbies, and the like. Your emotional commitment should be balanced between work and the rest of your life, as should your time. ”When you’re at work, you should be emotionally connected with the job. When you are not at work, you should be connected to your family and your outside interests,” Weiss says. “When you go on vacation, you should be glad to go, and you should also be glad when you come back.”

By Tom Gray

©2004-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: John Baldoni, Baldoni Consulting LLC, Ann Arbor, MI; Andra Medea; Alan Weiss, PhD, president, Summit Consulting Group Inc., East Greenwich, RI

Summary

Look into:

• Trading assignments with a co-worker
• Transferring to a different department
• Volunteering for cross-functional teams

If your promotions at your workplace are few and far between, don’t get frustrated—get creative. Look around. There may be a lateral move in your future.

Is there another job in your department that you’ve always wanted to try? Maybe a co-worker who’s ready for a change would be willing to swap with you. Talk to your manager and see what she thinks.

Or would you rather transfer to another department? If you’re working in marketing, it may be time to try a stint in operations. Are you the person everyone comes to with computer problems? Maybe information technology would be a good fit.

Think about the skills you’ve always wanted to develop but never had time for. If your department doesn’t have a big training budget, another group might. Do you feel isolated, working alone much of the time? Maybe there’s a department where teamwork and brainstorming will recharge your creative batteries.

What about hidden talents that don’t get much play in your current position? Don’t be shy. Let people know that you have something more to offer. Volunteering for cross-functional teams or to represent your department at an important meeting can be a good way to meet colleagues from other work groups and hear about potential job openings.

A lateral move can be just the change of scenery you need. You can hone your current skills while developing new ones, make new contacts, and gain a broader knowledge of the company. And by the time a promotion opens up, you’ll be ready for it.

Don’t be shy

If you’re feeling unappreciated, don’t blame your manager. It could be your fault. Here are four ways to be sure you’re noticed—and valued—at work.

• Simplify. Make sure you understand exactly what your manager expects from you. Make a list of your duties and ask whether each is worth the time you spend on it. Discuss low-priority items that you can delegate or eliminate altogether.
• Leverage. Network, brainstorm, and learn from other people’s success and failures.
• Accelerate. Look for ways you can perform tasks faster for your manager and your customers.
• Multiply. Find people whose skills complement yours. Volunteer to serve on teams with diverse skills, so you can learn and grow, and make new contacts.

By Rosalyn Kulick

©2002-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

• Start preparing as early as possible.
• Frequently review your job description and current year’s performance plan.
• Be prepared to discuss your strengths and weaknesses.

If thinking about performance appraisals inspires indifference, dread, or a smirk, change your mindset. Appraisals can serve as the most effective tool with which to assess and change your boss’ perceptions of you. So take time to plan for your performance appraisal accordingly.

Even if your company’s appraisal process seems like an annual formality, you can make it work to your benefit by contributing some thought and effort.

Make the most of appraisals

Before you plunge in, take a couple minutes to consider the opportunities the appraisal gives you:

• Valuable one-on-one time with your boss.
• The chance to describe accomplishments and contributions that may otherwise get overlooked.
• Time to ask for guidance or coaching.
• A forum to discuss ideas for your career development and training.
• An appropriate time to ask for a promotion or raise.
• The chance to learn your boss’s perceptions of your performance and change any negative assessments.

You should know

It’s easy to make mistakes in the process, however. To reap the benefits of your appraisal, be aware of pitfalls. You should remember:

• You’re entitled to advance notice of a performance appraisal. It should not be a one-sided process.
• Follow up on the objectives described in your appraisal. Don’t ignore it until the next one rolls around.
• Make changes to the performance plan in your appraisal if shifting priorities make some objectives obsolete—in consultation with your boss, of course.
• Accept criticism gracefully rather than rejecting it. In order to progress you have to remain willing to change.
• Managers also make mistakes. If your manager uses flowery, generic language in your appraisal, ask for specifics. Don’t accept a shortsighted or cookie-cutter review.

Long-term preparation

If you want your appraisal to work for you, you need to make a long-term effort. Start preparing as early as possible. The better prepared you are, the more control you will have throughout the process. Try these tips for getting an edge on your appraisal:

• Create a “sunshine file.” Use it to store documentation on your activities and accomplishments, including thank-you notes or commendations, examples of creative work and your own notes. The file also can include a record of any mistakes you make and documentation explaining why they happened and what you did to correct them.
• Frequently review your job description and current year’s performance plan to make sure you’re on track and can identify results.
• Discuss your progress with your manager several times a year. Ask questions and clarify expectations if you feel unsure of your performance.
• Begin formulating your objectives for next year. Don’t forget to include any training or coaching you need. Later, you and your boss should create a performance and development plan for the following year.

Short-term preparation

You should continue preparation for your appraisal until the day of the interview. As the interview approaches, make sure you feel completely prepared to discuss your strengths and weaknesses and to plan for the following year, if appropriate.

• If your boss asks you to complete a self-evaluation, get started immediately so you can put genuine thought into it.
• If you don’t have one, ask for a copy of the appraisal form your boss will use. Use it to help prepare the points you want to make and to anticipate questions from your manager.
• Review your own assessments and make sure you haven’t been overly critical or unreasonably complimentary of yourself.
• Gather all the documentation you’ve collected throughout the year. Make sure to bring concrete examples of your positive contributions.
• Rehearse what you want to say during the interview, preferably with another professional who can give you objective feedback.

Finally, get a good night’s sleep before the appraisal interview. You should appear well rested, attentive, and excited about the opportunity to continue making contributions.

By Kristen Knight

©2002-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: University of California, Berkeley Office of Human Resources, http://hr.berkeley.edu; Getting Promoted: Real Strategies for Advancing Your Career by Harry E. Chambers. Perseus, 1999; How to Improve Peformance Through Appraisal and Coaching by Donald Kirkpatrick. Amacom, 1982.

Summary

• Research your new position.
• Identify the priorities your boss has established for you.
• Find a mentor.
• Make the most of performance reviews.

Congratulations. You earned it. You landed the promotion you’ve hoped for, moving one step closer to your career goal.

But getting a promotion doesn’t mean your work is done. In fact, the hardest work may lie ahead once you take on more responsibility or start learning the ropes in a new position. Remembering some common-sense career tips can help you prepare for your promotion—and keep you moving forward.

Do your homework

Make sure you research your new position. Try to learn any new subject matter or necessary background information about your job before you start, rather than letting the basics slow you down during your first few weeks. If you’ll be moving to a new department, make an effort to learn about the group’s specialty areas.

Listen and ask questions

Before you start pushing your career agenda, you need to identify the priorities and goals your boss has established for you in your new position. This means listening and taking notes during your first few meetings with your supervisor, rather than explaining your own objectives. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you feel unsure about your responsibilities.

Find a mentor

Build a relationship with someone who’s been around longer and has the ability to plug your talents to others within your organization. Not only can this person help you master the rigors of a new position, but she also may provide golden opportunities in the future.

Check your level of commitment and motivation

You’ll have difficulty making progress if you don’t like what you do. It’s important to care about your work. In order to get excited about your organization and its goals, you need to believe in them yourself.

Motivation also plays a key role in success at work. Maintain a high energy level, and make sure you radiate enthusiasm to your staff. If you have a hard time finding enough motivation just to crawl out of bed in the morning, you might want to consider a career change. And, remember that a new position may require even more energy than your old, comfortable job.

Accept criticism and use it to your advantage

Make the most of performance reviews. Instead of viewing a critique of your performance as a blow to your ego, use it as an opportunity to improve. A little constructive criticism could even help you transform your performance on the job from “good” to “superior.” Use your performance reviews to identify any roadblocks in the path of your success, and talk with your boss about potential solutions. Making time to analyze your job at a distance can give you new perspectives.

Network with co-workers and others in your profession

Get to know the people in your organization. Learn what they do and how you might contribute. And, let them know what you do. You can gain a lot of insight and support through sharing tips with co-workers. Or, consider joining professional associations that would allow you to expand your network.

Re-evaluate your career goals

At least once a year, you should evaluate your job and progress toward your career goals. If you’re off track, make sure you plan to take steps in the right direction. Or, you may have a new set of goals and need to develop a plan for reaching them.

Remember that getting ahead doesn’t necessarily mean moving up the corporate ladder, even though you’ve just taken a step up. Your next step may be a different one. For example, your job goals may include travel opportunities or the freedom to spend more time with your family.

These days, taking on assignments that allow you to develop new skills can get you a lot farther than the weary climb up the corporate ladder. The rewards may not necessarily include a bigger office or a more impressive title, but rather more resources or better projects.

By Kristen Knight

©2001-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: www.careerbuilder.com; www.fastcompany.com; www.msn.com; Getting Ahead at Work by Gordon W. Green, PhD. Carol Communications, 1989; Getting Promoted by Harry E. Chambers. Perseus, 1999.

Summary

There are pros to both a paid job and volunteer work.

If you are thinking about going back to work, talk to your counselor or a trusted friend. They can tell you about getting started in a work program. You can decide if you want a paid job or if you want to volunteer. Your counselor may also send you to someone who will explain your benefits. They can make social security laws clear to you. They may also know about the Veterans Administration benefits. This is important because you don’t want to lose your benefits such as SSI, SSDI, or Medicaid. This could happen if you make too much money when you go back to work. They can answer your questions.

Paid jobs

If you want to have a paid job, discuss it with someone you trust. Back-to-work programs can help you write a resume. They can help you practice for interviews. You may even be able to learn basic computer skills.

If you decide to look for a job on your own, use the internet.  If you don’t have a computer, go to your public library, mental health center or independent living center. The Division of Labor and Employment has job postings. But, you may have to do most of the legwork yourself.

Independent Living Centers in your town can be good resources. They may be able to guide you to agencies or groups that find jobs for people with disabilities.

Volunteer work

If you want to volunteer, you’ll have lots of chances. Non-profits and charities are always looking for good helpers. This is a good choice if you’ve been out of work for a long time. Being a volunteer is a way to get job training.

If you decide to volunteer, decide what interests you. If you like animals, call your local animal shelter. If you like to work with people, drop-in centers and programs that help those with disabilities are a good choice. You can also call your local United Way and ask about chances to volunteer. Peer specialists or advocates at your mental health center may be able to help you learn more about it.

By Haline Grublak, CPHQ, Vice President of Member & Family Affairs, Beacon Health Options

©2010-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Summary

Mentors within the workplace go beyond their expected relationship with you to provide one-on-one, personal guidance that can help you get ahead on the job.

Joe graduated from law school in the top of his class. Yet despite his academic preparedness, Joe realized he still had a lot to learn at his new job with a first-rate law firm. “I lacked an understanding of the corporate culture, protocols when working with the D.A.’s office—basically insider knowledge,” said Joe. Now a successful litigator, Joe attributes much of his success to a senior associate who took Joe under her wing. “I still seek her advice regularly,” says Joe.

Like Joe, your technical know-how or educational background may prepare you for doing your job. But learning from those around you helps to develop a professional edge. Consider this advice for identifying and maximizing mentoring relationships in the workplace.

What is a workplace mentor?

Mentors within the workplace go beyond their expected relationship with you to provide one-on-one, personal guidance that can help you get ahead on the job. Mentors do this by providing:

• Wisdom (based on their skills, knowledge, and own personal experience)
• Insider knowledge
• Access to people and opportunities
• Opportunity to see yourself and your potential in new ways

The mentor relationship can:

• Boost your self-confidence
• Broaden your perspective
• Increase your motivation
• Help you define and achieve professional goals
• Improve job performance

Learning from others: long-term relationships and one-time events

The valuable relationship Joe developed with the senior associate developed over time and is ongoing. But not all mentoring relationships are long term. Joe can identify many one-time events when the help from another co-worker proved important to his job performance. He gives the examples of the law librarian who stayed after hours to help Joe with some research and the experienced litigator who offered feedback on Joe’s presentation of a case. “His willingness to take time away from his busy schedule to provide an honest and frank assessment of my presentation motivated me to work even harder,” remembered Joe.

Identifying potential mentors

You may not have to look far for a mentor. Often, mentoring relationships just come about naturally. Some companies have formal mentoring programs with established guidelines. In either case, good mentors share these same qualities:

• Genuine concern for your best interest
• Willingness to share what they know to help you get ahead
• Willingness to be available to you when you need help—not just at their convenience
• Ability to identify your needs or deficiencies and to develop strategies for overcoming such obstacles to your success
• Respectfulness, trustworthiness, honesty, and supportiveness

Joe’s case illustrates two important points to keep in mind when seeking knowledge from others:

• Try to identify your needs or areas for improvement, which can help you identify potential mentors.
• Realize that a mentor doesn’t have to be more knowledgeable, skilled, or experienced than you on every level. In fact, mentors usually learn something from their mentees as well.

Maximizing mentoring relationships

Learning from others requires more than just observation. Listen to the advice offered to you and make an effort to put it into action. Ask questions that show you’re interested in knowing more and improving your job performance. Request help in areas where you feel particularly weak and ask for challenges in areas where you feel comfortable and proficient. Ask for candid feedback. Thank those who provide help along the way. Most importantly, always do your best, which sends the message that you appreciate your mentors’ efforts and their time was not wasted.

Resources

Making the Most of Being Mentored: Mentors Help. Mentees Do, second revised edition, by Gordon F. Shea. Viva Books, 2012.

They Don’t Teach Corporate in College, 3rd edition: A Twenty-Something’s Guide to the Business World by Alexandra Leavit. Career Press, 2014.

The Mentee’s Guide: Make Mentoring Work for You by Lois Zachary and Lory Fischler. Jossey-Bass, 2009.

By Christine P. Martin

©2001-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: Making the Most of Being Mentored by Gordon F. Shea. Crisp Publications, 1999; How to Hit the Ground Running in Your New Job by Lynda Clemens, Ph.D., and Andrea Dolph. VGM Career Horizons, 1995.

Summary

• Allow yourself some time to process shock and sadness.
• Fight your feelings of guilt.
• Realize that layoffs aren’t personal.

There’s another side to the layoff story—one involving the company “survivors.” It probably comes as no surprise that layoff survivors can experience decreased morale and loyalty and more gossip and resignations.

Layoffs, intended to decrease costs and increase productivity and efficiency, often create fallout among remaining employees. If you’ve made the cut, you might find yourself feeling guilty, angry, anxious, and overburdened rather than relieved. Just as the newly unemployed must reassess and readjust, so do those left to face company life after downsizing. 

Survivor syndrome

Layoff survivors often must cope with feelings of fear, insecurity, resentment, anger, sadness, betrayal, distrust, and guilt. You may find yourself asking, “Why me?” and “Could it happen to me?” And unfortunately, you also might find that your relationship with laid-off co-workers becomes strained.

Rather than let stress get the best of you, you can be proactive:

• Allow yourself some time to process shock and sadness. Those feelings are normal, and require time to pass.
• Fight your feelings of guilt. Accept that you’ve earned the right to stay.
• Realize that layoffs aren’t personal. Try to separate the people who had to make the cuts from their actions.
• Reassess your goals. Decide if you want to stay with your job, or leave and find another opportunity.
• Let go of your instinct to worry about and defend your colleagues who lost their jobs. They may find great opportunities elsewhere.
• Come up with strategies to improve your work and company systems, instead of complaining or gossiping.

Coping with extra responsibilities

People who work for companies that have downsized or have had difficulty hiring new employees tend to feel more overworked, say researchers from the New York-based Families and Work Institute. If you survived a layoff, you may feel like you’re left to do more with less. You can cope:

• Research your company’s goals to see where your responsibilities fit in. If you understand the overall vision, you can prioritize your tasks effectively.
• Make “not-to-do lists” as well as “to-do lists.” Before plunging in, first identify those tasks that aren’t so important.
• Rather than slouching, set yourself apart by raising your hand to help out. Foster enthusiasm. Your supervisor will remember your efforts.
• Take control. Volunteer for new projects that make you more essential. Look for new opportunities rather than getting bogged down in administrative trivia or passively taking whatever work gets thrown your way.
• Take care of yourself. Don’t neglect your diet and sleep needs.

Moving on

The bottom line when coping with a layoff: Don’t contribute to negativity. You’ll need time to grieve, and you should find people with whom to discuss the situation. Gossiping, complaining, blaming, and dragging your feet will not help—and may negatively affect your health and career. Be respectful; remember that getting caught in that negative loop also can have consequences for your fellow survivors.

Once you’ve come to grips with the situation, decide whether you want to spend your time feeling angry and resentful, or embrace the change as an opportunity.

By Kristen Knight

©2004-2019 Carelon Behavioral Health

Source: ABC News; American Management Association; azcentral.com; Bangor Daily News; Families and Work Institute; SmartMoney.com; Financial Finesse Inc.; Society for Human Resource Management; USA Today Jobs; Work Friendly Inc.; The New Organizational Reality by Marilyn K. Gowing, John D. Kraft and James Campbell Quick, eds. American Psychological Association, 1998.